I remember the first time I watched the movie Elf: I was at my friend Laura’s house and complained throughout the entire length of the movie about how stupid it was and how much I hated my friend for making me watch it (she made me do a lot of things, actually–we no longer speak). Later that night, immediately upon arriving home I logged onto my MySpace account and sneakily added the word “Elf” into the middle of my “Favorite Movies” section. I didn’t do it to be a sly little brat (I was and am a sly little brat, though), but it was one of those things in life that I just hated to admit that I loved. This day and age, I proudly flaunt Elf as one of my favorite movies, but there are plenty of other things I am still quite embarrassed about liking.
I hate myself for loving you, …
Glee. Raised as a daughter of the community theatre, I know bad acting. When I watch Glee and think that I could do a better job convincing an audience how deeply distressed I am that my baby daddy just left me for our high school teacher/the adopted mother of our child, we have a serious problem. Some of the dialogue is witty, but the show’s story lines are confusing, incomplete and usually just end up being tossed aside. But every time that damn “Loser like Me” song comes on at work, I can’t help but sing along. Damn you, Ryan Murphy.
Will Ferrell’s comedy. His dead-on, admittedly-hilarious impersonations aside, Will has made a name for himself in recent years by doing stupid comedy (Think: Austin Powers, Talladega Nights, Bewitched). I missed the part where running around acting like a jackass constitutes as comedy, or even acting, but Will has made a lot of money doing it. However, when I watch him in these shenanigans, I can’t not be entertained. Hearing that they are creating a sequel to Anchorman has probably been the highlight of my year so far. Embarrassed that I enjoy Will, maybe. But ashamed to say the I love Anchorman as much as the next guy, never.
The fact that I know every word to D4L’s song “Laffy Taffy.” Everyone has that one completely random and nonsensical rap song that they know each and every word to for no apparent reason, right? For many people, it’s The Prince of Bel-Air theme song. To other’s it’s a 1990’s classic such as “U Can’t Touch This” or “Ice Ice Baby.” For me, it just so happens to that chart-topping D4L’ song from early 2006? Whatshappeninwhatsupwhatsupletsgoletsgoletsgoletsgooo
Watching people eat. This is a weird one, I know, but for some reason I get uneasy if I’m eating with someone and there is something obstructing my view of their food. Be it a drink special menu, a large bag, an animal–I just like having a clear view of what my friends and family are eating! Is that really so strange?! (It is, I know. I’m sorry.)
The smell of Axe body spray. I could easily be one of those girls in the commercials. I’m well aware that normal humans smell the familiar, potent scent of Axe body spray and immediately run the other way, as Axe body-spray-wearing boys are tools who think they are too macho to invest in some real cologne and/or deodorant. But any and every time I smell that sexual, manly fragrance–I tell you it’s like a moth to a flame. A child to an ice-cream truck. A college student to a St. Patty’s day bar crawl. All I know is I soon hope to outgrow this fixation with the scent, as well as the fratty, douchelord personalities that accompany it.
I hope I’m not the only one that has these random, quirky fallacies. Anyone else care to own up to anything you hate to say you love?
Uptown Moxie 