Happy first “Me, Me, Me Monday”! I hope your week is off to a wonderful start. I was recently presented with an opportunity show off my musical chops at a very desolate karaoke bar, but I inevitably declined. As a daughter of the community theatre and a past-life show choir brat, company dancer and all-star schmactor, it may surprise you that I do not partake in the act of singing by myself in front of others. But, alas.

Although there’s no greater feeling than performing in front of a packed house, “performing” for me could include anything from telling stories to kicking my face in a chorus line and I would be delighted. BUT I’d rather be thrown into a game of rugby with 250 pound men than sing “Happy Birthday” in front of one other human being. If my terrible taste in/lackluster knowledge of music aren’t compelling enough of reasons to not put others through misery that would ensue if I picked up a microphone, the sound that projects from my mouth is on par with what I would imagine swinging a bag of cats against a running washing machine sounds like. Did I pain that picture accurately enough?

Emmy-award winning schmactress.
Emmy-award winning schmactress? Yes. Mediocre vocalist? Absolutely not.

Because I love beating dead horse, here are my top contenders for karaoke songs that you will never have the pleasure of hearing me utterly berate in public. You are welcome.

  1. “Just Like Jesse James” by Cher
  2. “Oh Sherrie” by Steve Perry
  3. “Not for the Life of Me” from Thoroughly Modern Millie [soundtrack]
  4. “Hit Me with your Best Shot” by Pet Benatar
  5. “Speechless” by Lady Gaga
  6. “So Far Away” by Carole King
  7. “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash
  8. “I’m the Only One” by Melissa Etheridge

Do you do scary-oke? What is your go-to song?