Happy first “Me, Me, Me Monday”! I hope your week is off to a wonderful start. I was recently presented with an opportunity show off my musical chops at a very desolate karaoke bar, but I inevitably declined. As a daughter of the community theatre and a past-life show choir brat, company dancer and all-star schmactor, it may surprise you that I do not partake in the act of singing by myself in front of others. But, alas.
Although there’s no greater feeling than performing in front of a packed house, “performing” for me could include anything from telling stories to kicking my face in a chorus line and I would be delighted. BUT I’d rather be thrown into a game of rugby with 250 pound men than sing “Happy Birthday” in front of one other human being. If my terrible taste in/lackluster knowledge of music aren’t compelling enough of reasons to not put others through misery that would ensue if I picked up a microphone, the sound that projects from my mouth is on par with what I would imagine swinging a bag of cats against a running washing machine sounds like. Did I pain that picture accurately enough?

Because I love beating dead horse, here are my top contenders for karaoke songs that you will never have the pleasure of hearing me utterly berate in public. You are welcome.
- “Just Like Jesse James” by Cher
- “Oh Sherrie” by Steve Perry
- “Not for the Life of Me” from Thoroughly Modern Millie [soundtrack]
- “Hit Me with your Best Shot” by Pet Benatar
- “Speechless” by Lady Gaga
- “So Far Away” by Carole King
- “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash
- “I’m the Only One” by Melissa Etheridge
Do you do scary-oke? What is your go-to song?