Tag: Humor

Loveship, Hateship, Kristen Wiigship

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Last week I had the great pleasure of seeing one of my most looked-up-to individuals at a movie screening/talk at the 92nd Street Y. As a part of the Reel Pieces series, my friend and I were able to preview the drama Loveship, Hateship (based off of Alice Munro’s short story “Hateship, Friendship, Courtship, Loveship, Marriage”) and sit in on a discussion that Columbia Film Professor Annette Insdorf held with the film’s director, Liza Johnson and the star of the movie, Kristen Wiig.

Realtalk, I’m not much of a film expert (although I also finally watched Dallas Buyer’s Club and Nebraska this weekend — A+ to both!); this event had me at “Kristen Wiig will be there.” Poor blessed Annette Insdorf tried her best to ask Ms. Johnson questions that wouldn’t bore the audience to sleep and stay on topic of the film, but 90% of the discussion and questions were geared toward Kristen. And mostly about her work in comedy, which is NOT the genre of this movie AT ALL. Tell us about working for SNL. (Hard, but good.) What can we use from improv in our daily lives? (Yes, and to everything.) Where did the character Dooneese come from? (3am sleep deprivation) Who was your favorite person to write with on SNL? (Wouldn’t answer) Who was your favorite person to act with on SNL? (Wouldn’t answer) Will you be doing dramas from here on out now? (We’ll see! But of course, no.)

IMDB currently has Loveship, Hateship rated at a 6.1/10 while Rotten Tomatoes gives a less enthusiastic 44%. It definitely is a solemn, and at times awkward (shocker, it’s Wiig) film to watch. But as we watched it with an audience of, what I can only assume were Bridesmaids-heads, whenever Wiig gave but an inch of something very, very small that could in the slightest way be taken as funny, the audience took a mile and LOLed.

Although I’m a fan of some of Kristen’s other recent dramatic feats (i.e. Friends with Kids, Girl Most Likely), this was a little too depressing for me and overall kind of unimpressive. But, some say my taste in movies is awful (I hate The Wizard of Oz!), so you should check out Loveship, Hateship for yourself! Here’s the trailer:

OR. Just watch this thirteen times instead:

OR both, if you have nothing better to do with your time, a la me.

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My “Type” AKA an Excuse to Feature a Photo of Tom Selleck on my Blog

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I have a “type.” So sue me. I spent a few minutes being embarrassed about it, and then the last five or six years trying to find someone who will fulfill all of my requirements. That’s obviously worked out nicely (she types lying in bed by herself covered in a film of Cheeto dust). My prerequisites include, but are not limited to: a receding hairline, an overall “I don’t care about my physique” attitude (aka a dad body), and most importantly someone who can proudly rock tube socks, some clear plastic thick rimmed reading glasses and a handlebar mustache, hopefully all at once. Depression-baby values and a pro ruler-to-wrist smacking mentality are added bonuses. What I seek, dear internet, is not a 2014 Brooklyn Hipster. My ideal partner is a glorified father-figure of the late 1960’s.

While I acknowledge fulfilling all of said requirements seems to be a difficult feat, as dads of that generation are currently bordering great grandpa territory/death, I still have hope. I’ve attached a few of my top contenders for my your viewing pleasure. Do yourself a favor and picture each of these fine men donning one of these outfits:

1970s outfits

You’re welcome in advance.
 Hot Dads 1Hot Dads 2Hot Dads 3

Was I born in the wrong era? Am I just a reverse-cougar? Is there such a thing as a reverse-cougar? If so, is there a better sounding name for it?

Pizza, pizza!

Mandy1 Comment

Due to a busy morning and, per the schedule, what looked like it was going to be a busy afternoon, yesterday I planned to take a short lunch break. Because I like to pretend I’m tiny and wealthy, I usually grab lunch from one of the near-ish delis on my break. Due to pressed timing, I decided to opt in for the closest thing available: a pizzeria next door to my office.

Upon walking into the pizza shop, at almost the exact same time my stomach loudly roared in hunger just as my eyes landed on an attractive, stylish man sitting close to the register, eating a single slice of pizza. I was greeted by the guy behind the counter, “hello Señorita, what can I get you?” Ummm one slice WAS enough last time. I’m trying to lose some weight here, is pizza really the best option? From the counter guy I heard, “HOW MANY SLICES YOU WANT?” Okay, I’m actually starving but the cute, metro boy is just eating one slice. “ONE? TWO? THREE? FOUR?” I panicked. My stomach growled for a second time. “FIVE? SIX? SEVEN?”

“Uh, the margherita. Just one slice, please.”

Who was I kidding? I was back for seconds twelve minutes later. Thankfully, the most-likely gay young man (remember, I work in Chelsea, hello?) had finished his skinny man meal and left. Also thankfully, the owner gave me slice number two at a discount — maybe because I scorned him for judging me, but probably because he really was. At least I burned more calories having to make the walk twice?

Moral of story: always trust your gut. Especially when it comes to pizza.

Pizzaholic

It’s a Sunshine Day

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Oh hai there. Some things (such suspense in the vagueness) have yet again taken precedence away from updating this old thing the past few weeks, so for that I apologize. I can’t on-the-record promise this or next week will be any better… but I’m sure going to try.

A few weeks back, an ahh-mazing blogger known as Zee nominated me for a pretty cool thing called the Sunshine Award. Allegedly, this is a way for cool bloggers to introduce cool bloggers to other cool bloggers. A lot of cool bloggers involved in the process, specifically those who are creative, positive, and all around good guys and gals (or at least appear so in their internet personas). Sounds great, right?! Since I’m pretty much obsessed with Catching Zees and also this is the first time I’ve ever won (been nominated for? I prefer saying won) anything worthwhile in my young adult existence, I was pumped. But then I fell off the [blogging] wagon enough for enough time to gain 8 pounds. BUT LOOK AT ME NOW. HERE, BLOGGING AGAIN. Attempting to pick off right where I left. Let us allow this be seamless. Did someone say Seamless?! Uhh, so here’s the rules I was asked to follow:

  1. Display the Award Certificate on your blog.
  2. Announce your win with a post and thank the blogger who nominated you. (Thank you, Zee. You’re fantastic!)
  3. Post 10 interesting things about yourself.
  4. Nominate some fellow deserving bloggers for the award.
  5. Link your nominees in the post and let them know about their nomination with a comment.

Sunshine Award

I’ll do my best to make this interesting. Here are some typed up things about me:

  1. I don’t know how to embed gifs on my blog. Or even really how to google gifs properly. I know gifs would make this more interesting, so I’m kind of already considering this a failure.
  2. I don’t use emoticons. Never have. I’d confidently continue with “never will” but there’s some awfully tempting cat-faced contenders out there. For the time being, I have a folder of saved images of Kristin Wiig’s facial expressions that I send out when I feel the need to deeply convey emotion outside of the normal : ) slash : ( slash o_O Kristen Wiig face
  3. Once in 2011 I tweeted something to the effect of “I hope wine and popcorn count toward my daily recommended servings of fruit and vegetables.” So I guess you could say I was Olivia Poping it before Olivia Pope. *brushes dirt off shoulders*Olivia Wine
  4. I have the handwriting of a second grader.
  5. Life goal is to be: half as hip as Lindsay Weir, a third of as funny as anyone who replies to the @Midnight tweets, a fourth of as energetic as Leslie Knope, and a fifth of as continuously turnt up as Miley Cyrus.Miley Cyrus LipKristen Wiig face
  6. True life: I didn’t know what the Oxford comma was until last week.
  7. You always know what I’m thinking and feeling because I wear my emotions on my sleeve face. Sorrrrrry.Gilly
  8. I have a very real, very perpetual fear of mispronouncing words. And using words at incorrect times. I guess, just talking in general. I should probably look into data-entry as a career.
  9. For as obsessed with television as I am, I loathe reality TV. (Much to my mom’s dismay)
  10. “If you’re going to break the rules, break all the rules” is my favorite thing anyone’s ever said to me. Walter White

In the same vein, I do feel like breaking some Sunshine rules. I don’t want to pressure anyone to do this type of post if it isn’t your thing. Plus, some of you have been around for a while and potentially have been nominated before. SO, instead of commenting on each of your blogs with this nom., I’m going to not. But I think you all are very wonderful in such creative, inspiring and unique ways, and since I don’t have a “blogroll” of sorts, I’m excited that this award has given me the chance to shout out to the few sites I regularly pop over to check out during the week.

Ahh, hope I’m not forgetting anyone. Also, I hope this isn’t creepy to those of you who don’t know me at all since I just tagged your blog! If anyone has any other great recommendations of who to follow out there in the blogosphere, let me know in the comments! Always up for checking out new reads/making new web-based friends. AND: happy Monday!

Lists, Loves & Links

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TGIW. From my local bodega guy verifying I was over the age of 18 to buy alcohol (what?) to being a reluctant third wheel on a first date 15 feet away from my bed, I’m seriously ready for a “weekend.” Even if my weekend does fall on Thursday/Friday. Regardless, here are some fun articles (mostly about the GGs… sorry I’m not) that have kept me entertained this week!

lists loves and links smaller

The end. Enjoy the rest of your work-week, humans!

[There are Weirdos] On the 6

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The subway is a magical place. It’s a decrepit, vast underground tunnel where humans from all walks of life unite.  The rich, the poor; the black, the white; the Christians, the Jews, and everyone in between has somewhere to be. A home to some, a last-minute option for others, the New York City subway system is saturated with various “showtimes”, Michael Jackson impersonators, mariachi bands, and an overall diverse mix of folk. Much like a box of chocolates, with the New York subway, you really never know what you’re going to get.

This particular Monday en route home from work, it wasn’t a performer that caught my eye. These particular straphangers were in love, which is great I guess, unless you’re so in love (and/or drunk (on a Monday?)) that you must showcase this emotion publicly, without regard to proximity of strangers or personal space bubbles. In that case, it is simply the worst.

These kids felt it necessary to showcase their affection while being a mere eight inches away from a total stranger’s face — said stranger obviously being me. I must say, I apparently attract socially oblivious humans on the metro, because this wasn’t my first time experiencing something of this nature. About a year or so back, some dude fell asleep on my shoulder on a local, not-even-busy train to Washington Heights. And just a few mornings ago, a couple sitting directly beside me kissed 67 times between the 86th St. stop on the 6 train to 51st St. THAT’S FOUR STOPS for anyone who counts. I was thinking at that time perhaps one was leaving for the army (or dying?) but they both got off at the same stop – so I feel like they had more time together than they let on. That’s a whole other tangent.

So the close-to-my-face couple was very literally in my face. Every time the guy leaned in for a kiss, I considered just going for it, because my face was the exact same proximity to his as his lady friend. She was also significantly shorter than him (and me), so he was swooping at an angle, which would have made it ridiculously easy for me to get in there. I know that making out with a rando on the MTA is the stuff of dreams, but I was obviously thinking about it for comedic purposes. Which then got me thinking about a social experiment I jokingly (?) want to test out. Just how close can you get to train strangers while doing socially inappropriate things before you get told off? Depends on people’s tolerance, I guess. I’m pretty passive aggressive [read: I let a man who may or may not have had a brick and mortar home use my shoulder as a pillow], but a swift fake sneeze in the face diffused my problem quite nicely.  After all, there’s a special place in hell for people who display public PDA.

Best of the Golden Globes

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Happy Monday! Hope everyone had a great weekend. Me? I’m still riding the Golden Globes high from last night, naturally.

Tina Amy GG14

Is it weird that I feel like [for the most part] everyone that should have won, won? I was especially elated at both Amy and Cate’s win, 12 Years a Slave‘s last-moment award and, of course, all things Breaking Bad. And joke-wise, from Matt Damon’s garbage man, the soon-to-be-infamous George Clooney joke to the Randy appearance, Tina + Amy slaughtered, per usual. I wouldn’t hesitate to call the night a wild success for my two favorite people on this earth them. If you didn’t watch already, do yourself a favor and enjoy a few laughs to begin your week:

Opening Monologue Part 1:

Opening Monologue Part 2:

Just for Lorne Michaels’ disinterested clap:

For Emma Thompson’s presenting skillz:

Because Amy makes out with Bono:

Overall, another A+, ladies. Can’t wait for 2015!

Little Miss Woods Comma Elle

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Like any proper Elle Woods aficionado, when I first found out I was summoned for jury duty, I was ecstatic. “A real live New York City court room,” I thought, “I’m going to Peggy Sawyer this bitch. My hot pink pant suit and I will be plucked straight from the chorus of boring drones in the jury box to sit front and center at the council bench. My passion for social authority and delivering justice will shine through my courtroom-virginal eyes. ‘Education be damned!’ the judge will shout as he immediately christen me ‘Hillary Junior’ and lets me take the stage, to legislate and jurisdict until the cows come home.”

…And then I googled jury duty. …And then I remembered practicing law in an actual courtroom probably isn’t as exciting as pretending to do it on the silver screen or a Broadway stage. …And then I wondered if it was Elle Woods I always identified with, or if it was just Reese Witherspoon all this time?!

In other words: I think too much, I have jury duty today, and I returned the hot pink pant suit. I feel like being summoned for jury duty (and actually going) is a very adult thing to do. Here’s to hoping if I get chosen for the trial, it doesn’t last forever and I can make it home for the holidays. I don’t leave for a week, but I think it’s already been established here that I have an over-thinking/over-analyzing issue. Maybe I’d make a good lawyer after all. ;)

Corthouse2 Corthouse1

:Edited to add: Jury duty got pushed back to accomodate holiday travel plans! Looks like I can postpone being a real person a little while longer. Whew.

New Yorkers Say the Darndest Things

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in conversation 2

“Did you hear that guy? How do you think he knew I was Catholic”

“Probably your sweater.”

 

“Ugh do you know where the convent house is? I’m running late.”

“Do you mean the…Covenant house? Because if you’re looking for the convent you may be on the wrong side of town.”

 

“Am I going to call in to work on my day off? Seriously? I have more important things going on in my life. Like I need to figure out what’s going on with Walt and Jesse.”

 

“It’s not mean if you don’t say it to their face.”

 

“Ugh, I didn’t get that email. Maybe it went to my junk [mailbox]…”

“Speaking of Mandy’s junk, have you seen this picture!?”

 

“Why do ‘some’ girls take so long to get ready? I’m not saying you, because look at you. But why do others?”

 

“If you’re going to break the rules, break all the rules”

The Queens of Comedy

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Amy + TinaI’m not going to beat a dead horse with this one. We all know that Amy Poehler and Tina Fey are NOT ONLY two amazingly talented pioneers in the comedy biz BUT ALSO very progressive trailblazers for feminism, the entertainment world aside.

Like Amy, Tina’s roots are with Second City in Chicago. She began writing for SNL in 1997 and became the show’s head writer (first ever female) two years later. She didn’t begin acting on the show until 2000, and departed just six years after to create her own little show you may or may not have heard of, 30 Rock. In 2011, she released Bossypants, her award-winning autobiographical book that details how to get the job done while leaving ’em in stitches.

After moving to New York in 1996, Amy cofounded the Upright Citizen’s Brigade Theatre in 1999. She joined the cast of SNL in 2001, and began co-hosting Weekend Update alongside Tina in 2004, as the first (and to date, only) time a duo of women served as news-anchors. In 2008, she started producing and starring in the best show in the world Parks and Recreation, which is [obviously] still on NBC. In her spare time, she motivates girls (and let’s be real, also grown-ass women/gays) in her YouTube Series, Smart Girls. Also, she’s a recently separated mom of two, and my envy of her children knows no bounds.

Tina and Amy are great on their own, but there’s truly nothing like it when they’re working/performing together. From the Palin/Clinton sketches of 2008, to hosting the Golden Globes earlier this year, these two are at their best when they’re playing off of each other. And these ladies are not just frontrunners in the category of funny females, they are groundbreakers in the vast realm of comedy as a whole.

We all have a lot of reasons to like these two women – they’re both hilarious, witty, type-A, do-it-yourself, fearless leaders in all projects they take on. But personally, I think my very favorite reason that makes me so impassioned to root for their success is that they are (and always have been) both so supportive of each other in a world that can be so cut-throat. If you know anything about breaking into the comedy industry as a female, it’s VERY competitive and not-so-friendly. The fact that Amy and Tina were each other’s cheerleaders from the forefront makes me feel like I can truly support and relate to these iconic women. One day, it’s my hope and dream to be able to tell that to them in person. For now, I’m waiting with everyone else to watch them co-present Carol Burnett with the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor and whatever else they have up their sleeves.