It’s been a minute, I know. As they say, time flies when you work consistent 12 hour days, attempt to regularly work out, read, write, lay out, are enrolled in a challenging class and try very hard and usually fail at maintaining some degree of a social life. Oh, they don’t say that? Good. Because if you aren’t Kelly Ripa or super-human, I’m pretty sure it’s impossible to do all of the above, get 7-8 hours of sleep every night and not solely exist on caffeine/crack.
As you can see, my life’s been a ball full of rainbows and butterflies lately. Here’s the top 5 reasons why I never want to get out of bed ever again:
5) New York is hotter than hell in the summer time and it smells like piss everywhere.
4) I’ve been reading more: novels, the news, my twitter feed. Everything is so sad and it makes me angry and miserable to think about it all the time. Rainbows and butterflies forever.
3) I’ve gone vegetarian, against my own will. My sidebar announces my love for bacon and today at Subway I ordered a veggie patty for the second time in two weeks. Can I blame my terrible attitude toward life on a meat deficiency?
2) I recently enrolled in a sketch comedy class in which I hoped to immediately kick ass and shortly thereafter get swept up into the world of Hollywood dubbed as “Judd’s new ‘it’ girl.” Basically, that’s still happening; it’s just taking a little longer than I anticipated. A few excerpts by my girl Amy from the Del Close press conference on Friday are helping me power through: “If you’re uncomfortable it means you’re growing,” “People can be too hard on themselves. They have a bad show or a bad class and get discouraged. It takes a while,” and my personal favorite, “Whatever you do, commit.”
1) I downloaded the new Miley Cyrus song and I like it. Beyond that, I watched her Good Morning America interview and defended her as being “cool” in a conversation with co-workers (????). I’ve obviously lost my mind, but part of me just wants to do some molly, twerk it out and get turnt up. Is that so bad? As Miley would surely tell me, “forget the haters, cause somebody loves ya.”
I hope everyone else is having a better Saturday night than me. Just kidding I hope it sucks.