Due to a busy morning and, per the schedule, what looked like it was going to be a busy afternoon, yesterday I planned to take a short lunch break. Because I like to pretend I’m tiny and wealthy, I usually grab lunch from one of the near-ish delis on my break. Due to pressed timing, I decided to opt in for the closest thing available: a pizzeria next door to my office.
Upon walking into the pizza shop, at almost the exact same time my stomach loudly roared in hunger just as my eyes landed on an attractive, stylish man sitting close to the register, eating a single slice of pizza. I was greeted by the guy behind the counter, “hello Señorita, what can I get you?” Ummm one slice WAS enough last time. I’m trying to lose some weight here, is pizza really the best option? From the counter guy I heard, “HOW MANY SLICES YOU WANT?” Okay, I’m actually starving but the cute, metro boy is just eating one slice. “ONE? TWO? THREE? FOUR?” I panicked. My stomach growled for a second time. “FIVE? SIX? SEVEN?”
“Uh, the margherita. Just one slice, please.”
Who was I kidding? I was back for seconds twelve minutes later. Thankfully, the most-likely gay young man (remember, I work in Chelsea, hello?) had finished his skinny man meal and left. Also thankfully, the owner gave me slice number two at a discount — maybe because I scorned him for judging me, but probably because he really was. At least I burned more calories having to make the walk twice?
Moral of story: always trust your gut. Especially when it comes to pizza.
Last week, a friend told me about a new-ish donut shop that opened up a few streets over from my apartment. It was allegedly getting rave reviews, and was known for its huge, doughy pastries PLUS it serves the smoothest coffee this side of the Hudson: Blue Bottle. He didn’t have to say much more to convince me to check it out on my day off.
Dough Loco is located in a small hole-in-the-wall hipster shop on Park and 97th. I went in the early afternoon on a Thursday and it was dead — literally zero customers inside — which should have been awesome… except they didn’t have wi-fi and the guy behind the counter was giving off some awkward vibes, so I decided to indulge in my fit of gluttony in Central Park.
The donuts I decided to try were the Maple Miso, per all of awesome the Yelp reviews I read, and the Raspberry Sriracha because HELLO, RASPBERRY SRIRACHA?!?! Also, the Yelp reviews were all “they’re SO big — there’s no way any normal sized person could eat more than one — really even an entire donut!” Needless to say I ate both, fulfilling my need to constantly affirm my impending obesity. They were big, doughy, just the right amount of sweet, and ever so satisfying. The Maple Miso was fine — really just tasted like a regular sweet donut to me. The Raspberry Sriracha, as the name obviously suggests, is where it’s AT. The Yelp reviews also foiled me into thinking it was going to be heavy on the raspberry flavor and light on the spiciness of the hot sauce — not the case. I got a fun little kick with each bite, and wouldn’t hesitate to call it the best donut I’ve ever tasted. [Disclaimer: I’m not a donut enthusiast, so keep it in your pants, Doughnut Plant obsessives.] Regardless, Dough Loco is a great, trendy addition to the UES/East Harlem hoods, and I’ll definitely be back.