Surviving Manhattan: Wintery Mix Edition

Sunday evening, New York City had its first official snowfall of the season. While two years ago my naive heart would have fluttered with delight, this time around my feelings have evolved. Do you know what happens when masses of well-focused texters walk aimlessly into mobs of confused, luggage-toting tourists? And when you add oversized umbrellas, a snow/rain mixture and black ice into the mix? Chaos.

People in the city regularly cannot conceptualize walking on the right side of the sidewalk or slowing down at yellow lights. Bad weather turns smart people to stupid,  stupid people to glorified marshmallows and tourists to THE SLOWEST MOVING PEOPLE IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD. You’re right; I have become a part of the problem. But it’s frustrating and scary to navigate this city when the weather outside is nothing short of frightful. Because I haven’t made a Polyvore in a while, here’s a few things I think might help. Take it or leave it, because as I think I just successfully established, I’ve already lost it a little and it’s not even officially winter yet. Oy.

A Manhattan Winter

Christmastime is [almost, but not really] Here

It’s already snowed in Ohio and flurries are in the forecast for NYC last night/today. Although it isn’t officially winter yet, it’s Christmas season in my mind. Yes, I’m one of those girls who starts listening to Christmas music in October. No, I won’t apologize. I’m even more psyched that I’m going to be able to make an Ohio trip happen for the holidays this year — something that I didn’t foresee to be in the cards. Due to all of this seasonal excitement, I crafted a Polyvore featuring a few of my seasonal favorites I’m already delving into! I’d say I lose my self-control around the holidays, but if I’m being honest, I never had much of that to begin with. Forty-three days until Christmas (!!!), but I mean who’s counting?Elf Christmas Cheer

[Halloween-Inspired] Cherry Bomb

Happy Halloween! Or perhaps I should more accurately say, Happy Halloween-Themed Throwback Thursday?! Instead of posting a thrilling throwback post of myself dressing as Walter White, Sarah Palin, and a black cat a million times over,  I instead give you an inspired Polyvore featuring the look of an iconic rock and roll artist: Joan Jett. For a few years, I’ve wanted to throw some punk-y all black ensemble together and roam the streets of October 31st singing “I Love Playing with Fire,” but it hasn’t happened yet. If you’re as last-minute as I am and are celebrating the holiday this evening, you’re more than welcomed to borrow my idea. Just don’t forget the choppy hair and confident attitude :)

Cherry Bomb

Project: Help Mandy Pick a Fall Jacket

I have the epitome of first world problems: I need a new fall jacket and don’t know where to begin. According to the local meteorologist’s weekend forecast, the cool weather is finally here to stay. With the combination of the [sad] fact I’m not in college anymore (see ya around, Northface Denali) and the [kind of cool, literally] fact that with my new job, I’ll be doing a lot of walking outside, I need to have something stylish to sport outdoors for the new season. There are a lot of trends out there right now: boyfriend pea coats, oversized parka, leather-infused military styles… so many are viable options. I picked a few of my top contenders below. Any thoughts/advice are welcomed. What’s your go-to outerwear look for the fall?

Fall Jacket Picks

Throwback Thursday: High School Fashion

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times. It was high school, and if you are anything like me, your wardrobe consisted of too much animal print, shrunken graphic tees, and heavy eyeliner. I was (and am!) a classy broad, so my suburban Midwest fashion sense was knocking it out of park in the early 2000’s. In all seriousness, most of those pieces (I’d struggle to say any of that was ever trend) have been long tossed away. But every now and then, it’s fun to remember and even bring back some of the less terrible items in small doses. For this week’s Throwback Thursday, I dedicated an entire Polyvore set to the years 2003-2007. Long live the memories, but may the fashion statements (for the most part) rest in peace.High School Throwback

Urban Hipster Style

Soooo I start a new job today! It’s basically a glorified version of my old job, only for a new brand targeting a youthful, hip demographic. I’m so lucky and excited to be doing a job I enjoy, with some kick-ass people, in the city I love. Here’s a Polyvore (I’m a little obsessed) showcasing some of the looks I’m hoping to rock in my first few weeks, now that wearing jeans and fashionable pieces is not permissible, but encouraged.

Urban Hipster

Oxford Obsessed

Oxford Obsessed

With the recent additions of Pinterest and Polyvore to my life, it has suddenly become a lot less expensive to exercise my love for creating outfits. My wallet is ecstatic.

I’m currently coveting these Tommy Hilfiger Women’s Cuddle Oxfords in beet leather. When I initially fell in love with these beauts, I wasn’t sure how I could confidently implement them into my wardrobe. Sometimes, when you’re buying a statement piece that’s so different from what you already own, it’s hard to come up with a way to style them without breaking the bank and buying handfuls of other pieces as well.

After much consulting on the inter webs, I came up with two outfits I think I could successfully pull off:

  1. The boyfriend jeans, graphic tee and oversized watch (top left outfit) fully embrace the menswear theme. Too masculine? Maybe for some. But, embodying the “go big or go home” mentality, I say this works.
  2. On the other hand, oxfords also scream “classic school girl,” so pairing them with a crisp white button-up, a floral mini skirt and a girly statement necklace (bottom right outfit) turns this piece in a whole different direction.

Thoughts? Could you pull off either (or both) of these looks? Would you?

A Trashy Encounter

Something incredibly embarrassing happened to me and naturally I couldn’t wait to publicize it all over the inter webs for complete strangers to mock and ostracize. I’m hoping that this is a common thread among all comedy writers, and I just don’t have a screw loose or something. I guess regardless, taking the alarmingly mortifying events that happen to me almost daily and viewing them from an outside perspective does typically lighten my mood. In fact, I almost view my life as if I were Jess’ long-lost cousin in The New Girl. I think Liz Meriwether and I would get along really well. Okay, now I’m just getting off topic.

A little back ground info to tease you with: I got a new job–like 2 months ago–and am now working in leasing at a residential luxury building in Manhattan. Can’t give too much away but my very first lease happened to be with a particularly well-known person in the world of fashion. In this post, we’ll call them Chandler. There may or may not be a few other “note-worthy” people who live/have lived in the building too, but as Chandler is in an industry I identify with (and by that I mean I used to work discount retail, holler), well, needless to say I think he or she is pretty cool. (20 points if you read that in Vanessa Bayer’s Miley Cyrus accent!) (Seriously help me, I’m addicted to tv.)

Fast forward to this afternoon. I just finished scarfing down a cobb salad both the size and weight of my head. And I’m not exaggerating either, I even kept aside half of the chicken pieces that came in it to save for later (thrifty, right?). Even though I’ve been working at this building for almost two months, I literally have the memory (and sometimes common sense) of a piece of cheese and don’t remember how to maneuver the “backstage” building areas. For examples, I don’t know where the trash room is; I just last week I found out about another public bathroom on our community floor; I know we have two stair cases but didn’t know where they lead or how to find them; etc. So as I was unsuccessfully trying to stuff my salad container into one of the small trash cans in our communal room, I knew I had to come up with a plan B. Since I wasn’t about to begin exploring the underworld of the building with 6 minutes left on my break, I decided to do, what seemed at the time the most logical thing and take the elevator up a few floors to dispose of my messy salad remains in the floor garbage room.

Upon my arrival, I thought to myself this was the aforementioned resident Chandler’s floor, but I hadn’t run into them since he/she had moved in, and didn’t think too much of it. Immediately upon entering the trash and recycling room, I realized that instead of an actual garbage can, there was only a garbage shoot and a recycling bin (I don’t live there, I don’t spend too much time in the trash room, how was I to know?) I questioned the thought of just throwing the salad container down the trash shoot, but knew it would break open and wasn’t too sure of where it would land. Maybe other (normal?) people would have just thrown the half-closed salad down the shoot and been done with it, but I think it’s been established on here that I’m far too neurotic to execute that type of nonsensical behavior.

So there I was, alone in the trash room, a plastic water cup gripped between my teeth, foil-wrapped chicken leftovers in my armpit and staring at the falling apart salad container the size of a basketball, panicking about how to dispose of it when naturally, who comes to find me there? Not only was this the weirdest of coincidences, but as Chandler entered the trash room, the first though that immediately enters my brain is, “OHMYGAWDCHANDLERTHINKSIEATMYLUNCHINTHETRASHROOM”! Because seriously, I’m essentially the help at this building, and why else would I be lurking on residential floors with salads the size of the once-planet Pluto? I starting panicking more. “Ummm heyy HAHAHA soo I’m trying to get rid of the salad and I, like, totally don’t know what to do? Do you have a bag or something HAHAHA??” I mumble, in a sad tone that came from a place in my brain that thought it was SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE to ask fashion royalty to DIG THROUGH THEIR TRASH for the poor, sad building staff. Fortunately this particular person is super nice and was willing to help. “Here, use this,” Chandler stated as they handed me a Coach shoe box with a thank you note inside that I couldn’t read quick enough, but I clearly know it was from some high-up fashion mogul that gifted them shoes from Paris fashion week. *le sigh*

After my salad was successfully disposed, and Chandler’s garbage was safely stowed in the trash room, we then shared an epically awkward elevator ride with minimal talking before bidding each other adieu. Overall, I don’t think I was necessarily my best self in this encounter, but I’m willing to take one for the team when at least an interesting story comes of it. And hey, next time you’re down on your luck or having a shitty day, you can think to yourself, “At least no one of societal importance thinks I eat my lunch alone in a trash room.” Right?

Fashionable Friday: People’s Choice Awards

TGIFF! I’m excited to kick off the first ever Fashionable Friday post covering an event as exciting as the 2012 People’s Choice Awards! However, I was once again dismayed with the choices of most of the attending parties. By perusing through the red carpet pictures of the night (as I was unable to watch the show live on the 12th), I have narrowed down my favorites of the evening to a few categories:

Best Dressed of the Evening: Miley Cyrus in David Koma

Photo: Christopher Polk

I never thought I would say this, but Miley Cyrus looked amazing on Wednesday night! I think its safe to say she surprised us all by classing it up in a very mature David Koma dress. I love that she brought out the slight color detailing in the hemline by pairing it with metallic pink Jimmy Choos.

 

Best Kaley Cuoco Hosting Outfit: Naeem Khan

Photo: Christ Pizzello/Associated Press

Allegedly (I didn’t count), Kaley wore 27 dresses in total while hosting the awards show. My favorite look of Kaley’s was her red Naeem Khan bubble dress. While its nothing overly fashion-forward or surprising, its fun and flirty and a cute dress to open the show with.

 

Favorite Members of the Best Show Ever Regardless of Their Attire: HIMYM

Photo: Getty Images

How I Met Your Mother stars Alyson Hannigan (a very pregnant Alyson, I might add), Josh Radnor, Cobie Smulders, Neil Patrick Harris and the love of my life and future husband Jason Segel featuring a very sexy beard. I’m not sure what any of them are wearing because I can’t remove my eyes from Jason. Hot dammmnnn with the beard. I digress…

 

Favorite Shocking Outfit of the Night: Emma Stone in Gucci

Photo: Christopher Polk

Emma dons a Gucci tuxedo. Surprising move, but I think it works for her. This look just shows that boy-inspired apparel never goes out of style, even for a formal event.

 

Worst of the Worst Dressed: Jennifer Lawrence in Victor & Rolf

Photo: Matt Sayles/Associated Press

While there were a lot of not great ensembles at the People’s Choice Award (probably most), I think Jennifer Lawrence wearing Victor & Rolf’s dress of fishnets and royal blue swirls won me over as the worst dressed of the night. I was just confused as to if she was going to an awards show or Comic-Con? Either way, I wasn’t feeling it.

Did anybody else really love and/or hate any outfits from the evening? Anything super obvious I missed?